The holly and the ivy...

Christmas was great. It was different without stephen and Achel... but it was very nice.

THis year was a different year to me... well last year was similar... but with stephen. I did all of my shopping without him this year... but it was still good. I actually still haven't bought him a present yet (d'oh!) but I have some time still. Anyways since I was at school and since finals were especially hard for me, I had an insane time getting into the christmas spirit. It was nice coming home to a pant-load of snow, which helped a lot. My family didn't even get a christmas tree til sunday haha... but we were all busy... it was just a busy busy time...

However there is one thing that usually gets me ready for christmas: the candle light service at church. Oh man. It was great this year...

The first thing that happened was a song by Craig Peffer and then they did a little skit about the donkey in which Barney Barnhart did the voice of the real donkey (pedro) that was in the church. It was sweet. (I am starting to forget the order of things that happened...) but yeah there was singing of songs all between the things.... then there was a skit with the youthgroup kids where this guy kept throwing away his fruitcake that he would his aunt would send. BUT his aunt had been giving him a lot of money in there... and he had been throwing it out all these years. Anyways it was that people have the gift of christmas but they throw it out each year. Interesting.

So then a few more songs, then Linda sang O Holy Night. This is like my favorite thing aobut the christmas eve service... she is amazing and she sings this song every year. It always gives me chills when she nails the high note. Then Pastor read the christmas story and they acted it out... it was great. They passed out the candles and we sang Silent Night along with Pastor and Wes (who played the guitar like every year).

It was great.

Every year the same thing, with a few random changes now and then but it is usually the same thing and I love it... it is always there like an old friend, reminding me the real meaning of christmas. When we got home I realized that we usually get a box of pop corn from a friend of ours named Rick who moved away. I told dad and we called him and told him that we missed getting the gift and seeing him... not that the popcorn was anything great,(oh we loved it haha) but it was the thought that he was nice enough to think about us and the fact that it happened every year.

It was a great christmas... not the same without Stephen and Rachel (and scott and jenni) but stephen and rachel came to surprise mom and dad on saturday... it was great. They had no idea and we had a fun weekend.

I love getting out of the routine... I like changes... but when it comes to Christmas, I'll take the good old fashion Miller christmas... a few changes happened this year, but it was still the same christmas I always remember ././.

never going back to OK

So I had these goals for winter break... I haven't done any of them yet. And it was really getting me down... then I realized that its only been four days. There are still weeks left! I think discouragement is one of the biggest discouragements... I know... it doesn't make sense... but think about it. Telling yourself that you didn't do what you wanted to do only makes it harder to get it done. Just because I didnt do it for a few days does not mean I can't finish the goal in the big picture.

I still want to read my bible WAY more. * this will be awesomer because I got this book from Youthgroup about how to read the bible easier or something... it gives like a headstart for devotions.. its cook

pushups.. I will start again tonight.

reading. on the way home? hmm maybe before bed is good.

verbal advantage.. I did some... I will later

Anyways those things will come. I need to unpack still... I have not done any of that stuff yet... my room is in shambles. Anyways work is good... I feel like I never get anything done... I just need to buckle down I s'pose. Anyways just realizing all that stuff above gave me some encouragement from my current failures in my goals.

I need to make some real progress during christmas... next semester needs to be good or else. yikes.

I miss my suitcase computer. *flashbacks of it smoking*

The Sun Is a Mass of Incandescent Gas...

Wow. its over. It was an awesome semester... I will have to get some highlights up soon. But it was great...
rooming with Israel and Ronathan
hanging with matt and rashell sometimes
a few awesome english classes
reading lot of cool classic books
eating bagels at bagelheads and drowsy poet
hanging with Pete
Dramatic Production (I will post about that sometime)
my two trips home.

And a lot of other awesome. Anyways I have a bynch of cool things planned for christmas... these are my goals, not quite set in gold...

-bible every day
-read tons o books (I need a list soon)
-do all of Verbal Advantage
-um...
-push ups every day

that might be it... I dont want too much.

Anyways things have been good. I had a few rough classes and it made me freak out a little at the end, but my awesome dad was awesome and helped me make some changed and he encouraged me a lot. Anyways I better get ready to catch my flight. and I am going to finish my bagel.

I'm going home!

I can't wait.

Sting

It has been a great year... things have been busy... This last week stank. It was just horrible in several ways; first that it was midterms week and it was miserable and second that there were several tragities that made it terrible, first off I heard that Pastor Charles son, Jon had a seziure, I am assuming he is ok now but that seemed serious. Then I heard that Julie Sinclair was dying (she died last friday I believe it was) then I heard that Jonathan's grandma was given two weeks (she has cancer) and Jonathan is now home visiting her, then I heard that my friend's dad took his life (really really needs prayer) and he had to drive home and just stop taking his classes, then I heard that this girl that Israel knows died a few days ago, and I heard that a kid from PBC died over the weekend after getting his license, and then a student here went home over the weekend and died in a car accident.

Whoa. thats a lot of death. Wow. I mean... thats a lot at once. How come death always shocks us back to life? Thats ironic.

but it does. nothing is sobering like the reality of death... and it is frightening. man... I wonder what I would do if my dad died? I dont know

man. I am just happy I dont have to worry about death... I know where I am going.

My Plan.

wow. sorry I havent blogged much lately. Why am I appoligizing? I dont know. Anyways things are good... well things are good. But school is tuff. I bombed a bunch of tests. Yikes it takes a lot more studying than I have been doing. Wow. its insane. Anyways things are good.. I need to be making better use of my tuesdays and thursdays since I dont have classes so I think I need to wake up earlier since I usually waste 4 to 5 hours on those days.



Problem is I dont wake up early

summer highlights

I'm sure I will be adding to this throughout the next few weeks... but summer ought seven rule'd and I want to post all the cool stuff that happened.


Anyways...

- as soon as school was out I went to Scotts house in California, here I saw Stephen, Rachel, Scott, Ginny, and The Buddy (tucker). I had an amazing time just relaxing and checking out another college. And I was introduced to "reed jumping" which was great.
-Sandcastle

-Trip to South Dakota

-Noah's ark

-Camping/ boating

-St Vincent

- coffee with tori

- coffee with sam

- lunch with Evan

- Seeing Mrs Picerno

- many hangings out with jen

-movies with ben (Ratatouille)

- coffee/ applebees with J-Dub

- 4th of July at Pittsburgh

- canfield fair

- picnic at moraine

-visiting chelsie at IUP with pete

- stalling my car in the middle of 422 and almost dying

-

-

Love is what life is all about

O, things have been great lately. The last week of the summer as a college student is very unpredictable. It is very important to spend time with family but there are many friends that I need to see before I leave. PCC is awesome because we start a week after everyone, so last week was friend week and this week is family week.

Anyways it is unpredictable because you never know how work is going to happen or what is going to happen at home or if we do anything fun or especially how the family acts emotion wise. Last year was great because mom and dad sent me off with a party kinda thing by inviting the people that I would consider to be my heroes over to our house for a surprise kinda thing. Anyways this year has been great... the whole family has been fun.

Mom has finally calmed down considerably... she was very highly strung this summer (understandable with the wedding and all the business, its just been very arduous for the family.) Anyways she has been awesome... funny and laid back. Ben has been fairly enjoyable. School has worn him some but he hasn't been depressed or angry. Dad has been great... I'm sure he is very emotional but he has a great perspective about it. He has just been trying to enjoy the times....

Life is scary like that. How come memories are so much sweeter then what's presently happening? I really don't understand. But I do know that if we focus on making memories now, our lives will be so much more wonderful. For instance -

Last night dad and I went golfing. I have no idea why it's been on my mind this summer but I kept telling dad and myself that I really wanted to try it. I had never done it before, I knew I would stank at it but hey It was just one of those things.

Now back to my thoughts on life, I could have just said ahh lets just chill around the house or go to Walmart... or something stupid like that- and it would have been another meaningless night. But golfing was great. It was such a grand time... dad was great. He is much better than me, not pro, but he knows what he is doing. I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be. O, I was bad, real bad. But its one of those things I would love to do again really soon... maybe Matt will take me?

So three really funny things happened... first of all on hole number 5 or 6, there was this long straightaway and then a turn to the left. So there were these small boards with arrows on them pointing to the left. Dad was watching me... I was not too far from the green. I hit the ball and it rolled pretty nicely and then with a thonk it smacked the board. It was funny... not sure why but it would have been really hard to hit it even if I tried to ... stupid me.

Then we saw a giant rat! I thought it was a groundhog... but it had a long skinny tail and looked like it was either-

A- Dying
B- Rabid
C- Drunk
D- Or someone (maybe dad) hit it with the golf ball.

anyways it could barely walk... it was rolling around and it was 'alarious.

Lastly I did something amazing. On hole two, I was teeing off and I took a huge swing... I heard a noise... I looked out but didn't see the ball soaring through the air. I looked down and to my surprise all I saw was the ball, slightly closer to the ground. Apparently I hit the tee right out from under the ball. I have no idea how but it was pretty amusing. Dad and I laughed a lot.

Well we only did 7 holes and it was getting dark and we were ready to hit the road so we drove the cart back and headed over to the mall. We ended up at Texas Roadhouse and had some appetizers as per they were half off.

man, it was a great night. We made lot's of memories. Great memories.

I think that is my new goal in life... just make sweet memories that last forever.

Family, Friends and others are what life is all about. My dad gave me a great quote from a friend of his... he said "a stranger is a friend that I haven't met yet" . wow. I need that perspective in life. How often do I judge people and treat strangers like they are losers when I just don't know them. - Lord help me love others more this year.

---

I wanna live like today
Could be my last day
To give all I have
Before it's too late
Goodbye to all the
Fear and doubt 'cause this
Love is what life's about/./

---

life means so much

Shine On

Somewhere between the end
And the point where we begin
There's a fire burning brightly
That's found it's way to dim
When the feeling's gone...

Shine on Shine on
and onto something new its long and overdue
I will remember you
Shine on shine on
And let the other's see you've got your victory
Will you remember me

I was with you in the valley
And up upon that hill
So take just one more step in front of you
For I am with you still you still
And you're not alone

Shine on Shine on
And onto something new its long and overdue
I will remember you
Shine on shine on
And let the other's see you've got your victory
Will you remember me

Can you see my hands are open I am waiting just ahead
And you think you need it all now
But you needed me instead

Shine on shine on shine on shine on won't you won't you shine

Shine on Shine on
And onto something new its long and overdue
I will remember you
Shine on shine on
And let the other's see you've got your victory
Will you remember me

Somewhere between the end and the point where we began

---

-needtobreathe

---

so Full Throttle is for sure my drink of choice as of late.

Awkwardness vs Esplanades

So the weekend was mediocre as far as the exciting scale goes... however it was great on the relaxing and awesome scale. So friday I worked at homeish in the morning/ weedwacked then came up to Chris' to help him do stuff in his fields with a few guys but they got the tractor stuck and jank so I went to his house and worked on cleaning stuff... later that night I went down and worked and afterwards I came up and... I think chris and I... yeah yeah we spent a buncha time watching SBemails I think... that may have been before... I don't remember... my days blur together. But yeah whatever we did, it was fun. Then Saturday I got up and opened at Jones... dad brought up the quad so that was sweet. dang I love the end of the summer weather... dang I have so many memories of this time of the year. Ahhh I miss fall. Its the best time of the year. hmmm. anyways

So then... Sunday mawwning, I went to PBC to help with music. haha let me just say I am glad that I wasn't doing it to impress others because haha I don't think I did. But its ok... we will work on it... I twas pretty sweet. It was great just to hear the adults sing these new songs... that was worth all of it../

So Mallory just told me that her boyfriend Eric just became a christian! thats really awesome... I don't know much about the guy but I hope he is good to her and I wish them both the best. Ahh I am so excited for her... thats really awesome...

anyways.

Eb and flo

Wow. I mean look at that hair. My dad bought the Hawaii Five-O dvds and I noticed that this guys hair is a work of art. How is that even possible? Anyways... Today is Claire's birthday. She will be turning "toooooooo" as she says... wow. 2 years old already. Thats crazy. I remember I was riding the ski lift at Hidden Valley when Chris told me that they were going to have another baby. So I still have loads of things I wanna do before going back to school

-sell canoe/ pay back PJ
-buy a nice black suit
-get some sort of coffee pot/ bean grinder
-finish I Am Not but I do Know I AM. great book... I have been reading it for over a year. blah I need to finish it
-get into the Bible more
-push up thing?
-fix the Velcro on my shoes... um...
-maybe do some more recording for tom
-get all my YG videos on disk


and...some other stuff I forget. Man I am thirsty.

"It's friday but Sunday is coming..."

---

listening to:

Signature of Divine- Need To Breathe

I turn all kinds of things into pies...

I think Thoreau has the coolest hair ever. It's a shame he was insane. So yesta-day I worked at Jones' till around 4. Ben came with and we had a pretty enjoyable time... then we left and when I got home and I helped Dad get his tractor and stuff ready... he mowed at church n stuff. So I left for Caleb's house because we had a get together at Miss Shaffer's house. I had a good time with Caleb... he is still a good guy. As is Kurt. We still make each other laugh a lot... its great. Man I miss highschool :sigh: ... so then we just hung out at his house for a while and looked at our cars and motorcycles and just sat down in his room and stuff. I bought a Full Throttle which was actually very enjoyable.. then caleb gave me a Bawls which was good too... its more mild than FT or rockstar or most of them, but still pretty tasty. Anyways I wanted to ride with kurt so I didnt have to drive the stick shift in dahn-tahn butler, but I ended up driving anyway which worked out really well. I love driving the Neon. I followed them and we made it to her house a few minutes later... when we got there, we got to talk to Mrs Shaffer for a while and Molly was there. Ken, Dan and Christal and Mr Sinclair and a few others came too. As usual, us three were being stupid and making everyone laugh haha. We climbed a tree, built a fire, jumped on the trampoline, ate lots of hot-dawgs and had a grand time. Man I miss those people so much... its great to be around good people who are fun and just love being fun and having fun. Ahh.. maybe PCC will be awesome but I just hope that I do ok. I enjoy the FBCS people... I guess its time to move on. i just don't do well with new people... which is weird.

But its gonna be good. good.

punchlines and ironies swirl through the galaxies...

Ahh. this week has been awesome. Well my dad has been away, so thats not awesome. I have missed our good times from last week.... he was a lot of fun when ben and mom were away... we had a good time. Anyways but the good thing is I have seen a ton of friends this week! Monday I came here to MPS and worked... then that night, chris brought me up to Jones' and I worked and when we finished, J-Dub and I went to applebees for a little after dinner dinner. That was enjoyable... we had good talks... so Tuesday I worked morning and around 4 I left for Butler. I bet Jen and her roommate Leah at the roadhouse where we had dinner. It was really fun... I miss some people there... so yeah then we went to see Evan Almighty... despite the fact that it was kinda making fun of the Bible, it was a fun movie. Nothing awesome, but enjoyable still. That was loads o fun, jen is awesome. Thenwednesday I worked again and brought ben with me...... yg was cool then on thursday I had coffee with Tori. that was great... she is awesome to talk to. We sat at Kairo's and talk for the longest time... it was so nice. Then I had lunch with Sam which was also nice... I like panera. Man I will miss all my friends...

I gotta weedwack...

sometimes it takes a storm

Wow. I just read one of the saddest things on earth... a letter from K to BA about her parents and stuff... K's blog is awesome... I wish I could make more time to blog and read and everything. Time is ticking away... what the heck is the date again? Whoa its the 6th already!?

Well anyways this week should be fun... tomorrow I am planning on meeting Jen (AKA- the Fair Princess) haha... hopefully at the Farmshow which should rock (haha) if not maybe a movie? Then I work and blablabla... thursday I hope to meet Tori for breakfast/coffee/something and then Sam later on. ah I love my friends...

So it was storming last night. Man I wish I could have seen it. Another thing I want to do this summer... well really soon...but I reeeally want to sit out and watch a storm. I looove watching the rain, and blueish purple skies, the lightening and rumbling to the thunder.

It hasnt rained a lot which is good for Jones' but not soo good for the farmers/ whatever. Ah I just love sitting out in the rain... I need to read my bible more too... I really want to get into a solid pattern before going back to school.

Wow school. it's going to be weird going back.

I am going to take scotts advice and try to kick it up a notch, socially speaking.

RRO

Tennis anyone?

A few minutes ago, Bryn looked at me, pointed at my nose and said "You have a boogie." Haha... anyways so its been a fun week... I had a lot o fun with dad earlier in the week driving around on the Harley with him, going to the Lube, going to Barnes and Noble and such... and the going to Dunkin Donuts.

Anyways thursday night, Chris told me we were spending the night in Wexford... so we left and made it to the office around midnight, we stayed there till like 4:30. We went to the Sheraton and slept till 11 or so... then I worked at the office most O the day


For lunch, we went to Sheetz and Chris informed us that Gary was buying haha so we all got drinks and stuff... I tried a Giant Peach Tazo which was fantastic. Te night before I had a Jolt Blue which is awesome, and Chris has been drinking a ton of Metro Mints lately which are pretty cool. I love drinks.

At any rate, we had a JOnes' meeting this maunin' and I want to get down there soon. well I want to sleep, I might do that now instead. Yeppers. maybe Ill finish later on bye,

sleepyhead sun

Wake up you sleepyhead sun
Rise from your eastern bed
Stretch and yawn, now it’s time to shine
And chase our shadows west
Burn in your pathway across the sky
And brighten up our stories
Wake the continents and oceans to
Another blessed morning.

You are the gift, you are the proof
The Lord looks down and warms my roof
You are the light, you are the sign
That I am loved and life is mine

[chrisrice]


---


So... the trip was awesome... I will try to do a day by day recap soon... ish. But for now. todayborday was awesome... we made it back to po-ville at around 7 AM yesterday. Mom and Ben are at bible school for the week so its just me and dad. Anyways, needless to say, dad and I were tired from the all nighter drive back. So we slept till 2 or so... then hung around till 4 then made our way to Cranberry so dad could get his prescription and whatnot... Then we went ober to Chic Fil A and I had a tasty chicken sandwich. Then we went to Dick's and Best Buy and Barnes and Noble just to walk around. It was really nice just hanging with dad...

I bought the other Darkness book by Peretti and hope to have them both read soon (hah) and a Robert Frost poetry book which is pretty cool as well... Then we decided to pick up dads Harley that he left at Chris' house during the trip and take a ride around mercer... we did so and dad left me and the Neon here.

---

....which brings me do this morning

---

Last night I had a great talk with Mallory about a lot of things... and I told her that I have been in a slump where I have been kinda far from God. Being on the trip made it hard to have a good daily devotion schedule and we missed church 2 Sundays in a row (we did go to church on Wednesday) but I think that may have been the first time I missed 2 in a row like that. It was weird... just not being to a church for a few weeks... but all of that kinda made me feel far from God so I was talking to Mallwy about it and she told me to get back to business (she is awesome.) so I planned to wake up, finish the Jones' schedule and head off to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast and a time of reading the Biblio.

let me tell you. it was awesome. The morning was beautiful and it was so nice being able to drive around with the windows down in my neon. I made it to DD's and had a half of a bagel, some pulpless orange juice (which despite my affinity for pulp, was actually rather refreshing) and a small coffee (which was really good I must say)

I opened my Bible to psalms... I usually do that just to warm up a little and to read something lite and enjoyable before I get into the juicy stuff. I read an awesome chapter... which was chapter 42. Its the one that talks about the deer panting for water the same way that we should pant for God. It hit me pretty hardly because I had been ignoring God for a few weeks... so that was awesome... then I went back to Hebrews which has been a massively awesome read lately... I was in Chapter 3 and it talks about Jesus being better than Moses. People were thinking that the OT guys were better then Jesus but the writer of Hebrews says that the builder is better than the building, and God is the builder of everything. I thought that was just so cool..

God is the builder of everything. People. Plants. The ocean. The sky. yep, everything.
it was just a cool realization... especially in the context... the people didn't realize that Jesus is God. Jesus is the builder of everything.

Way awesome.

---

So I am hoping that this day just keeps getting better. Man I love waking up to see the morning.

top ten

these are my current songs that I have been enjoying lately... I might try to keep this updated

---

1 Home- Daughtry
2 I will lift my eyes-Bebo Norman
3 What Ive done- until june
4 So Much for my Sad Song- Chris Rice
5 Brink of Disaster- Mae
6 Let the Words Escape- Chris Rice
7 Hey There Deliliah- Plain White T's
8 For The Moments I feel Faint- Relient k
9 Home- PFR
10 Traffic In the Sky- Jack Johnson

---

The mountains I can't climb.

Day: Won

So I was thinking about it today and I don't think that our family has ever been on a road trip that wasn't focused on the destination. This trip has been preeetty cool... yesterday we left around 9 in the mornin' and met up with Chris and his gang on the way. We Loaded up in the rental Jeep Commander and started to make our journey to Grand Rapids. The trip wasn't too bad... it was a lot of fun driving with our family... I slept a lot but I was awake for much of it... after a few stops to re-beef jerky and such, we made it to our Ramada. We found out when we got here that the awesome pool/ waterpark thing was not only included with our rooms, BUT we have poolside rooms so thats pretty wicked. Anyways last night we just hung out with the family, and went in a pool for a while. The pool is sweet, the room is all painted like a beach and there are palmtree things everywhere. There is an arcade and pool tables and pingpong and such and then the water is uber hot (which is great, I hate cold pool water) and there is a schweet hot-tub. And the slide is pretty sweet too./ Anyways last night we just did that then went into town and walked around. it was so nice... the place was called Gas Lamp Village or something... sooo nice..

Day: Too


Today woke up nicely with my family all having fun in the room... we all went to a nice breakfast then hopped in the pool for a while. Chris and Stacy informed us that they were going to mackinaw island so we were gonna hang out with the girls. Oh and the picture is Claires hair yesterday, shes soo funny. Haha... anyways the rest of the day we just relaxed and I got to swim and read and enjoy a vacationous day. For lunch we ordered Pizza whilst I watched the office... then we planned for Hannah from pcc to come visit us... I told her we were going to be near her house so she came and joined us for dinner. The family seemed to love her... I forgot how awesome she is. It has been a while since I was able to hang out with a PCCite. We went to this Mongolian Barbecue which was aaawwweesoome! maybe we will go later... then stephen and I hung out with hannah around Gas Lamp Village again... so cool. Things have been great.... I miss vacations... its so nice to get away from.

Well maybe I'll go play pingpong with my fadder.

to all a goodnite

Knifin' around...

[anyways]

---

Wow. This morning was a great morning. I woke up around 7 when chris came into my room and did something... I don't remember what he did but he woke me up. So I rolled around in the bed for maybe 45 minutes then finally decided to make my way into the shower. I read my bible which hasn't been as good lately... I have been spending less and less time... grr. I need to get on that. I wanted to do that whole week of prayer thing that I came up with... ya know... something to the effect of praying around an hour or so a day... it seems to be harder than I thought... anyways so that was cool...

Then I made it down to the living room and it was only 8:45 or so... so I figured I should spread some menus 'round town. I headed towards Hermitage and stopped at a few places... (by the way I think I am loving the Neon now... its hard to drive a stick at some times but I am getting the hang of and its quite fun now)... and decided to make my way over to Dunkin Donuts. I think the main reason I went is that Pete always raved about how good the coffee was there... I got some. It was good... nothing too special but it was enjoyable... I got a bagel (that I just finished) that was very good and some chocolate milk. That was fun... just sitting there enjoying the morning. I neeeeed to become a morning person! I looove the morning. Then I came back to Jones' and the weirdest/dumbest thing happened.

After getting the soft serve and everything straightened out, I decided to put the new milk bag in the dispenser- only to see that milk was dripping. Weird. So I scanned the bag looking for a hole... and I didnt really find a hole per say but it was some sort of ripped opening... so I tried to tape it up using some sort of masking tape... that was a bust. So I spent a while trying to get up Chris' drive (the gate was being annoying) and once I grabbed some duct tape I was ready to head back down... I spent... probably close to 30 minutes trying to tape that stupid thing... time and time again I would tape it like crazy and then once I sat it up, It would some how leak. I don't get it still... anyways I finally decided to take all the tape off and start over (again) - which only made more holes and actually it made things a lot worse. So, ready to plunge my fists into the wall, I called Turner's and they said they would be bringing more soon.

It amazes me how a little hole can really give me a big headache.

---

So thats my day so far...

ah. Its good to be alive.

The story of a car chase

ok so I have my revised summer goals.. I know its July already. There is still a lot of summer left.

ok as far as reading goes
-finish Blink
-Huck Finn
-Moby Dick (if I am up for it)
-Darkness books by FP

as far as personal stuff
-daily pushups
-organize like a mad man
-get new suit/ other stuffs for school
-listen to all of Verbal Advantage

and then spiritual wise
-Daily bible reading
-Prayer week (this week starting today probably I want to pray for an hour a day... see how it goes)
-more blogs
-more journals

---

Ok lets see how those turn out. Anyways things have been semi ok. I didnt sleep well last night... i am liking the top bunk at home... I slept well a few nights ago. hmmm
Anyways we had that meeting with Katie last night. She is so awesome... I miss having her around. Not the best of persons but she does have a good heart for people. She always helps me and is real cool. A little crazy but its ok... she didnt tackle me or throw me into the freezer last night so that is a plus. Haha...

Well I really hope my prayer week goes well... I should be starting it tonight... I hope I don't cave. Lets see how she goes.

getting away from.

so oh how I miss blogging. man it has been a pretty interesting few weeks...

last weekend we went camping. *sigh* it was so nice. friday night, ben stephen and I went to Pymatuning to spend the night in the tent and such, while mom and dad chill'd at home and came up with chris and his gang the next day. so we drove up and the whole way there we just kinda relaxed and enjoyed ourselves... I might have slept a little. heh. so when we made it, we spent like 30 minutes finding a good spot... once we pitched the tents and spent forever at the Sparkle looking for food we finally were able to just have some fun.

We cooked food and just sat there and looked at the awesome. The night was beautiful... just slow and calm. That is the simple best thing about camping... getting away from.

Life has gotten to the point with me where I feel like I need to completely revamp my insides inorder to change or make change. I need a whole new outlook. I need.

a difference...

my goals for this summer are

-first off- get closer with God
-get my life straightened out... (in general)
-become organized
-become a morning person
-read
-Blink
-I am not but I know I am
-the mortification of sin
-the Darkness books by frank peretti
-maybe Obesessed
-maybe Mostly Harmless
- and I want to just be a better person. I want God to break my heart so I can start living for others for a change

so stephen leaves on saturday for Mass for the weekend then we are leaving for the wedding. It will be sad but awesome. I need to carry for torch.

the time for getting things right is now.

scrantonicity

how things are?

ah, not bad. so things with the thing, have been better. I still need to write out those rules and things. I can't mess things up... I know God wants to use me.

anyways I preached on Neglecting Salvation on sunday for dad... its not too big of a deal to preach at Berachah, but its still preachin. so thats cool... I mean I feel bad for my dad that we are still in berachah because its been a small church for 6 years since we have been there but its awesome because we can really get involved in ways that we couldnt in bigger churches...

anyways it was good though. It was from Hebrews 2. I think it made me more convicted than anyone else I mean... thats my life. Constantly doing my own thing and neglecting the fact that the salvation that I have is awesome.

speaking of which I havent done my devotions this morning... maybe I oughtta do that..

anyways maybe I will get back into the swinga things here soon. (bloggin wise)

Those Endearing Young Charms

Well lemme tell ya. Things have been good lately. It is soo good to feel free from some things. I had a late night talk with dad the other night... he is really helping me out. and he is awesome. Anyways so things have been pretty ok as far as work goes, it's been busy. Ben's birthday was fun... I had more fun on his birthday than mine I think haha... allthough Puerto Rico was fun... going to the mall, the girls trying to find me clothing haha, josh and I shopping for 30 seconds, those free shirts, that girl named David haha, Ken trying to find a cute girl at the incense shop haha, Lisa getting pooped on by the bird (hahaha) Going to that inferior beach... then in the room that night haha... watching Men in Black, the Laker girls haha! ah man. I didn't really get to know our group till the last few days. Awesome. Waking up early to meet Sam was pretty fun too... she is a lot of fun... I hope I am not too busy to get to see her sometime..

I am so busy. I think all my friends hate me.

Anyways this morning when I woke up I went outside of the guest room here at Chris' and sat on the deck and read some of my bible. Man I am doing a study on solomon, it has been really cool... I need some wisdom so I figure I will see what he did. not that he was the perfect example, but its really cool reading.

I read a section in Hebrews 4 about Jesus being our High Priest, it is awesome. He knows what we are going through and He wants to give us mercy.

awesome.

anyways time for work.

(man I miss blogging)

Awesome.

oh man. I am tired. St Vincent was awesome... I will never forget it.

I blogged over at the group blog so I will just highlight things...

-um
-being back on the college was great
-Shonic, Nica, and Andrea are awesome!
-the driving was so much fun, made me a little sick feelin haha
- ginger beer haha
-"strollin"
-the wooer thing haha
-bible clubs were axesome!
-icecream :)
-going to the edwards!
-watching that video
-walking back at night
-the beaches
-hanging with sam :)
-shes prettty awesome
-getting up early... on sunday
-watching men in black
-the ride home :)

I don't think I will forget it anytime soon..

somewhere- out in the bitterness

ah. *happy sigh*

things are grood. I told myself that I wasnt ready for summer... but I forgot how awesome it is... still hasnt quite hit me yet... Man i love summer nights. Just being outside where its comfortable and being able to enjoy nature... theres something in the air ya know.... I dunno... something about the breathing that you know that its summer.

Well its good to be home. Im back at MPS for now... things are looking in up general... a lot of confusion I guess to say the least on what my life is going to be...

---

Anyways: update on the week in California, yes?
yes.

Well awesomely enough I got to fly out wednesday night the 9th... and I wasnt sure if I was even to make the flight, not only did I make it but I made first class which was bonesaw. I got to sit next to Mary on the plane.... that was fun. Shes pretty cool... I'll miss her and the rest of the gang this summer. hmm I should call them soon.

So I got to sit in first class... sat next to this Belgian guy... I tried to witness. That didn't work..
anyways... so I made it to sanfran that night and...

ah I dont feel like bloggin...

Journey to the end of the WORLD!... well... almost.

whoa! it was awesome.

ok so last saturday I wanted to go to the beach. So Dave took me and Joe in his truck and we drove totha beach... after doing some Poe reading (B+ on the speech BTW, it was grood) we all decided to take a trek to the end of the beach... well we only walked about an hour each way... there and back. but it was far... ok so you drive and drive and there is the parking lot with changing room/building thing. And there is where everyone is... then if you walk about 15 minutes to the right, it becomes super desolate... and wicked-awesome.

ok first we walked and walked and walked and finally we came to the place where the half of a dead dolphin was when Dave and Israel went a few weeks ago... and the "beach people" must have moved/ buried it. ok cool.

---

So then we saw 5 cool/ unusual things.

1- First we saw a trail of not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, BUT SIX.... unopened cans of beer. Weird. We weren't sure where they came from, but they were sandblasted and very fun to throw into the air and watch a-splode.

2- Then we saw this orange thing that looked like a giant ear plug. It turned out to be one of those floatie things that they put in swimming areas (usually on a rope or something) that keeps people from swimming in deep spots or something? I dunno. but Dave brought it back and now it is used as Matt's sombrero holder. (and Stu drew an awesome face on it)

3- Then we saw an entire, full, unopened (actually it still had the little rip-off seal on it still) gallon of vitamin D milk. Who brings milk to a beach? Weird. So Dave promptly opened it up and spilt it on the sand to see if it was chunky. spew.

4- then we saw this nearly naked old man. ok we were like 10 feet away form him and I was convinced that he was naked... dave said he thought the same thing when he passed him earlier... but he was wearing a very small amount of clothing... not really sure how to describe it without being grody. But that was kinda funny... hey he is old. Give him a break.

5- Then on the way back we saw this old looking plastic package thing that I was quick to ignore, but Dave and Joe decided to open it up... it turned out to be a pack of emergency packaged water! Packaged water! I didnt know they made that. ok its not that exciting but I thought it was cool haha. ok so then they opened it and Joe drank some. He said it was stale. Water gets stale? Anyway... it was exciting.

---

So it was awesome. Good thing I lathered myself in sunblock, as per I hate sunburn. But I got some in my knee-pits. weird.

it was a great day-times. I enjoyed it.

ahh the beach I will miss it.

good times

Mournful and Never-ending Remembrance

today being the Presidential Prerogative, you would think that I would enjoy a day off given buy our schools president... I did. but not as much as I would have if it was last week... I only have History and American lit on wednesdays which are both easy and cool classes. I did however still work in the morning... my head still kinda hurts/ throat hurts but its not as bad as last night... Seth made me tea that I didnt really drink and dave made me this Air Born stuff? it was gross but good.
Anyways after work I slept a lot... twas nice... Oh man Doug and Lisa Watson (from Chris' church) are here with their school...those two are awesome! We ate on campus with them... they are so much fun... oh man I also got pictures with L(l)oyd, me, matt, and Pastor J from church the other night... I need to post those soon...

wow maybe I am getting sicker... I am freezing...

I am doing a speech on Edgar Allan Poe... might be hard getting all his life crammed into a few minutes... hmm...

I hate doing research for anything... outlines.. notecards... and what in tarnation is a "scattergram?" sounds like a cinnamony treat.

so the penguins are losing the playoff series... 3-1... ahhH!!!

we better not lose. hmm

so I want to read more of Blink... never have time, dang it.

oh well.

this is weird... does anyone read this? wow... its kinda nice not having a public blog... I assume that someday someone will find it.

---

no prob, bob.

baggage claim

wow. Dave was right... the most homesick I have been all year is right now- right after spending an awesome weekend with my family. This free weekend home was a blast... but now I gotta go back to pcc... deal with people and classes... I have a research paper... and a bunch of other stuff... ahh.

anyways this weekend was amazing...

starting with friday (fridee) I buzzed through classes then Anthony Johnson brought us to the airport where we flew to charlotte then Pittsburgh... my fam came and got me and we had a great night just talking and watching some tv and stuff... it was around 11 so it was late... but we watched some Wonder Years and just laughed and had fun. I played some xbox with ben and it was grande.

we awoke yesterday and mom made a great breakfast... (bbbacon....)then I went up and talked to Pap. he is the man... ah. his war stories are amazing... I need to keep praying for him. hmm. then we met chris and his gang at this fun place where we played lazer tag and stuff... it was amazing... there was this tube thing for kids and a ball pit... so I ran around with Bryn and Claire and ben and chris in the tubes then ben and chris and I pelted eachother with the balls in the pit haha... it was great. left some welts. the lazer tag was soooo awesome. I wish we wouldda done more...

then we played some basketball in the front yard... well a short game of PIG and I won (indeed) ben and dad are fun to play games with, aw man. so that was funny.... then we left to see a passion play, not quite as good as the old one we used to watch but it was enjoyable... really got me in the mood for easter. ahh.

then we bolted over to Butler and watched Wild Hogs... it was really fun to watch it with ben and dad... fun movie overall, but just a great time in general. by this time it was so late so we got back and planned for church this morning then hit the hay.

This morning we went to church and had sunrise service... then went to Christy's diner place for breakfast where Butch and Mike argued about smoking and non tables (sigh) those guys are usually awesome... I never saw them act like that, but it wasnt a big deal and things worked out... my dad is a great peacemaker when things like that happen...

then I did sundayschool which was just an overview of my new testament class... it was fun then for the service my dad had me dress up like a guy that saw the crucifixion and stuff... it was enjoyable.

then we went home and had easter dinner with Chris and stacy and the girls... we recorded a song real fast and prettymuch as soon as we finished eating I had to leave... mom gave me some easter candy (ah man. shes awesome haha) which is hopefully not melting in my bag hmm... and then we left... I am not in charlotte and am going to be boarding to pensacola soon. dang I dont wanna go back to school... its ok and all but I just had suuuch an awesome time home. man... well it will make me more excited to go home for the summer...right...?....trying to be positive here...? haha

it was good. I am glad I went.

I have this weird feeling... like an aching... I think I am missing home a lot... thats a major part of it... or maybe I am dreading this paper i have to write... or I am just really really tired... or maybe I just want to be back in my warm house where I am loved and where I can just be.

or maybe its that sandwhich I just had that had too much honey mustard... hmm.

whatever it is, I think I need to just spend some time with Jesus on the plane... its been a long time since i visited the Island... ah man. I just want to be close to God where He is all I think about... all I want... and the only one I want to please.

*God, help me not carry any emotional baggage when I get back to school, help me to put a helmet on and finish well.

I need to be closer to you.... just bring me closer.

---

over all: I had a fantastic weekend... I have the greatest family in the whole-dang-world...
...maybe its because i have the greatest God in the whole-dang-universe.

I think thats it.

---

.....yep.. thats it.

Scope & Sequence

ah. yes. I geddago home. I am sitting here at the PNS airport awaiting my departure to charlotte only to hopefully not miss my flight to Pittsburgh. I get the weekend home free cos I signed up early or something. Its gonna be awesome since we are going to that laser tag place that I havent gone to yet? oh man and I miss bryn and claire a lot too... all of them. And tomorrow is going to be the Passion play... I love those... actually right now I should read that story...

I am excited. Easter rocks... I hope mom gets me a basket. haha. she proally wont... I have been using a lot of fake words lately... thats fun. I miss blogging... wow.

so I just started Blink (dekker) It should be good...

hmm.. I wish I couldda been to The Journey To the Cross this year. dad, mom and ben got to go, thats awesome.

well we are boarding soon...

*God- help me experience Easter this year.

take me back to the cross..........

the passion tomorrow night maybe?> I hope.

later

Boldly going forward: still can't find reverse...

Wow. A lot of things going on inside of me lately. I love the book Thr3e because it really symbolizes our lives as a christian... I mean theres the spiritual side of me... the carnal side of me and then the forgiven side of me. the tough part is to channel the spiritual side so that it flows over to the carnal side and replaces it... I have all these good intentions of being this great christian and doing Gods will and all this stuff... then I get smacked in the face with my flesh and I give in so much... I really really want to be more.

Talking to Ken last night was amazing. I love that guy... he is truely me hero. this guy wakes up and goes to the coffee shop everyday and reads his Bible and just the way he lives by faith and... ah man. I know he is a person and he will fall from time to time, but he has truly submitted to his spirit. I want to do that. the thing I hate is I never have time in the mornings, I usually get up early for work or classes... I wish I could wake up really early and have devotions.

I am still praying and one day I hope to be completely submitted to Christ. its just a matter of stopping myself from even getting to the point where I can fall spiritually.

*God please help me. Give me a heart to know you.
Jeremiah 24:7
And I will give them an heart to know me, that I am the LORD: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart.

---

anyways things are going well with school... I finally finished my research paper draft 2. yesss. I am pretty happy with that... I am at the Drowsy Poet now... this place is amazing. I wish I was a writer... I want to start writing some short stories and stuff.. hmm.

anyways I am still reading I AM NOT BUT I KNOW I AM... its really good... I never have time to read though, but I will now that my paper is getting finished...

anyways off to work on my literary paper... Ill do another one later


STEIN AUF

Watch out for the hats!

so... summery...

School is good.
Bible Conference was taxing, but overall really good
I need to fix a lot of stuff... my whole thinking needs to change
I miss being able to blog any time
um...
I need to do homework
I miss some people a lot
I wish I was bold enough to talk to some people here.
um...
Petes gang is awesome
the beach is amazing
keeping myself spiritually focused is a daily thing
I need to get into the word more
I hate this semesters English class... writing... grr

Bible Conference Summery-
_back sliding- streeter
_spiritual profanity- belcher
_water pots_ belcher


oh. um apparently I never finished this one... well it was good stuff.

Love & Thunder

Thursday March 8, 2007

Today I ate at the Varsity for lunch by myself because I had to study for speech during third hour so I was able to eat later on. I usually sit with Matt and Pete and his gang during third but since I didn’t eat til Fifth, I had to eat by myself which is nice sometimes. So a guy came over to me while I was eating and asked to sit down. I said sure… we began talking and I noticed a few things, one being that he had an accent… he told me his name was Andrew and he was from Wisconsin but grew up in Russia (hence the accent) ah. Cool. The second thing I noticed is that there was something wrong with his hands… either he was in a fire or it was something at birth or something… but he didn’t have fingers… well he had one or two on each hand and they were deformed and kinda stuck together.

He was a nice guy and we had a good talk. It really made me think when I was eating with him… I mean he never mentioned once about his hands and what was wrong… it was no big deal to him. He just did his thing and actually I thought it was really cool to see how well he could manipulate things like food and his tray and his drink and stuff. It made me think that he has things figured out pretty well when it comes to the outward appearance. I mean if it was me I probably wouldn’t have sat down with a complete stranger because that means I would have had to explain what happened so they wouldn’t be staring.. but if I did sit then I would probably explain somewhere near the beginning of the conversation or something… I mean I am self conscience with myself as being really small and stuff… but that’s the way God made me. This guy didn’t even have normal hands… and he didn’t care. I don’t know if he was just acting like it… but maybe he just realized that God did make him like that too… and since that’s true then there is nothing “wrong” with him. Right?

Hmm…

Interesting.

if only there were words

If only there were words that I could tell you -
that would bring just a fraction -
of the glory you deserve, -

Then I would journey to the highest hill -11
or climb the tallest tower and proclaim
your magnitude to all the earth. -

But Instead I stand here captured
in the presence of a God, whose own glory
keeps me speechless and astounded
at the thought of his never changing love....

...if only, if only there were words.


hmm still working on it... the scale is all messed up. its getting better I suppose

------>it was halarious

So this whole week we have seen these rather cheesy, "I am a secretary and all I do is look up cliparts all day" type papers hanging everywhere telling us that there is a catered lunch on thursday.... which cracked me up everytime I looked at it because first off, companies around here always try to kiss up to MPS by giving us food, which is fine by me, but that plus on the paper it had these little guys wearing chef hats, but the little guys looked like the AOL logo... so I was thinking "AOL is giving us lunch?" or something like that but no it was some place that I havent heard of...

so there was chicken and veggies and jank... it was good... anyways we were sitting there "partaking" of the food (as they say on the intercom) and this lady walks in to get her food and apparently the guy ran out of food and she was just asking for some and hes like "WELL THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ORDER FOR 45 AND HAVE 52 PEOPLE!" ...*record player screech* ya know, it got all quiet.... and really awkward and he continued to slam around his pans and stuff..

so in the awkward silence, Matt stands up and goes "WELL back to work" and just leaves, which was halarious because we didnt know what to do.

so I began to realize that eventhough you get to look at and possibly eat really good food all day long, I would never want to work at a catering buisiness.... not because of the work, but because I might have to work with that guy.

Leeland

Every tree and every stone
Every rushing wind that moans
They sing Your praise
My God, they sing Your praise
Every star and open sky
Tell of Your glory divine
They shout Your praise
They shout Your praise, yeah

You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have
You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have
You’ve wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes, You have

With Your love You set me free
Three nails gave me liberty
So I’ll sing Your praise
My God, I’ll sing Your praise
Oh, with Your love
You forgave my sin
Forgot my past
And brought me back again
So I’ll sing Your praise
I’ll sing Your praise, yeah


You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have
You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have
You’ve wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes, You have

hey, you... the one with those brown eyes...

this used to be my venting blog... I only made two posts I think... but they were from a year ago when things were different...

I don't know. Things are just not even close to being the same.

not in a bad way completely, it was just a major change... I wish we could just walk and have fun (not quite like we used to, this would be different because of how things are, but it might be better, or more enjoyable) thats what I want. and I tried. and I dont think its going to work.

oh well.. I am sick of blogging about this... its all I do... I never take action I never do anything... I just blog. I guess its good... I am more of a "sit back and don't worry about it" kinda guy about a few things... this is probably one of them. I figure if God wants something different, He will do it.

anyways I am here at MPS still... this place rocks... I will really miss being here and making a ton of money on just little things... maybe I can still do stuff for them when I get to school?

so I have really been thinking about that one girl from school a lot... shes so cool but it might be hard just getting to know her... I just want to be able to hang out with girls there.. I can do that a lot at home and its cool... it doesnt happen much at school because I dont know much of them...

we talked on the last day though, that was awesome... completely out of nowhere... I was like whoa are you talking to me? so maybe there will be an icebreaker when I get back...

or maybe I will just be my typical milksop and not do anything about it.

grr.

I miss reading... I wish I could sit and read but Its like I want to make the best out of every moment here at home so I guess I am saving that for later... Thr3e is amazing...



anyways...